The first is through story telling or sharing. There are plenty of mens magazine’s and online zines that give men tips about dating, health and fitness, etc etc. But what are we as men drawn to most? Stories of other men who have over come. Or stories of men who have fought battles and won. This is why men are drawn to movies like braveheart or Lord of the Rings. We rarely here of the battles men fight anymore or the struggles they face in a real way. My intent with this blog is to find a group of 4 men along with myself who would be willing to share their past experiences, and their current goals, drives and motivates for becoming a better man. Each man should be willing to share a true and honest evaluation of himself, where he comes from, and where he wants to go in life. And be willing to make himself accountable to the readers of this blog. Men today often aren’t open and honest with each other simply because they either don’t know how, or because thanks to television and feminism they think it makes them weak.

The second part of the blog will be a traditional format of educational how-to’s, tips, advice and opinion/editorial pieces posted on a more regular basis. The fact is, all of us want to become better men. And sometimes we need to know how to do that. Outside of our stories, there is our game plans, our battle maps and the goals we set. Sharing with other men how we do this will be an important part of this blog.

The overall goal of the blog is not just to teach men to become better men, but to inspire them by sharing with them the struggles of other men who want to become real men. So that they may see what we are doing. And to build a community around this site, that will encourage, and inspire men.

I have a favorite blog that I have been following over the last two years called http://artofmanliness.com , if you haven’t heard of this site before, I encourage you to check it out. It’s all about reviving the lost art of manliness. While this website is focused on teaching men the lost skills of manliness and manhood, aManJourney in a similar fashion is about teaching men to become better men, to improve their minds and character.

If we as men really take stalk and look at the men who call themselves leaders, running our nation our companies and leading our children, we’d see that there is a serious need for REAL MEN, men of yesterday whose word was more solid than any legal document.

If men like Ben Franklin, Martin Luther King, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Henry Ford are the kind of men who inspire you to be better, than please consider getting intouch with me to discuss.

And please pass this along to anyone who you think might be interested.

It is a wonderful thing to dream, but it’s an even better thing to act upon those dreams. Throughout my life I’ve dreamed of a certain lifestyle, certain freedoms and the chance to do the extraordinary, but it wasn’t until after college that I realized dreams were just realities waited to be acted upon. This realization changed my life, up until about 21 I’d always assumed that you could dream but life happened to you regardless. This couldn’t be further from the truth and as I ‘wake up’ more and more from the fog of ‘the real world’ I see that your life can be as big as you dream it but your dreams can only be as big as you are willing to act upon.

This is actually reason for celebration, it means you don’t have to wake up everyday and think ‘what will life hand me today’ instead you can literally happen to life, all it takes are baby steps. The way I act upon my dreams is three fold, I’ll explain my ‘action plan’ below:

1. Quantify the dream. Don’t say ‘I want to be rich and happy’ you must find ways to measure how rich and what ‘happiness’ looks like. So when you have a dream immediately put it onto paper and force yourself to quantify it. Now ‘I want to be rich and happy’ turns into ‘I want to have $100,000 in the bank in 2 years and I want to have met and married my dream girl’.
2. Map out the dream. So now that you know what ‘rich’ and ‘happy’ look like you can start to draw a plan (the more detailed the better) to get there. If you are driving somewhere you’ve never been you’d be a fool to not have a map (or mapquest) so why in life if you are heading towards a goal you’ve never achieved before would you leave the specifics to chance? It’s foolish, and more important it’s laziness masking itself with titles like ‘carefree’. So now assess your life as it stands, say you are working a job that pays $12 an hour part time, you aren’t going to get to your monetary goal this way so it’s time to change course. Develop an action plan based on what you like to do and what could possibly bring in extra income, then follow that plan to the T. What helps me is reading success stories, it not only inspires you but helps get your creative juices flowing about the hows of your specific goal. Secondly you want to meet and marry your dream girl, well if your single right now – or not with your dream girl – you’ll have to change course fast. Start meeting new people, go to a match maker, check out a dating site, ask your friends to set you up and actively search out the girl of your dreams vs. waiting on ‘chance’.
3. Live the dream. Now as you act every day on these goals it is time to live ‘as if’, this means reminding yourself all the time of what your life will look like in 2 years and why you are going for those goals. It means not worry about finances or finding the right girl anymore because you know deep down in 2 years time you’ll be there. Thinking as if is a vital part of reaching your goals but must be paired with quantification and mapping out your dream… if it isn’t you aren’t ‘living as if’ your delusional

Now it’s time for you to act, comment below on at least one of your dreams and quantify it. In a month or so come back and reply with any progress you’ve made, this social pressure alone will help you push yourself out of your comfort zone and into the land of the living. It is time to seize your dreams, it’s time to stop moping and stop making excuses – nothing is impossible when you pair an ardent dream with incredible action.

This is a wrong way of thinking; one that needs to change. If you want something, you’re going to have to go out and make it happen.

I’m learning this first hand. For years I talked about business and being successful. In reality I was waiting for success to land in my lap. I was hoping it would be handed to me with the least effort possible, and in turn my first couple of businesses were mediocre. I applied the least amount of effort to everything I did.

And then one day a light bulb went off.

I’ve found a lot of success already, because I’m pouring blood, sweat and tears into making it happen. I’m getting out there and hitting the pavement, shaking hands, staying up late working on projects, making phone calls, doing follow ups, going to networking events, building my following on twitter, keeping up with it on facebook, etc. I’m putting in the work, not just sitting back and hoping it will come to me. I stay up late and fry my eyes with two 24inch computer screens, doing favors, hoping for some return. I’m taking a huge risk on all of this right now. But with risk, comes great rewards. If this thing is going to happen, I’m going to make it happen.

Now, here’s the deal. We all know this principle. So why are so many of you waiting around for success to land in your lap? Equally, why are so many of you thinking that you should be handed that next big promotion without doing any work?

If you want something, you’re going to have to pursue it. You’re going to have to bleed out of your eyeballs to make it happen. You’re going to have to be relentless in some cases. You’re friends will probably think you are crazy. Forget them. Your friends are probably losers anyways. Stop dreaming pie in the sky and start making the pie. (Does that even make sense?) You’ll probably have to get outside your comfort zone for starters.

My wife wants to buy a Hummer. A freaking Hummer in this economy! And guess what, she’s going to drive a freaking Hummer because WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Only one way that is going to happen. Not by me sitting around hoping to get lucky, but by me getting out there and MAKING IT HAPPEN.

Stop waiting for lady luck, get up off your ass and MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Word of the wise, there are NO SHORT CUTS to SUCCESS. So avoid the MLM’s.

If you want to succeed at anything chances are you’re going to have to get outside of your comfort zone and face some fears, take some risks and take some ACTION.

How do you face that fear?

With ACTION!

Stop thinking and trying to rationalize your fears and learn to take immediate action. If you’re afraid to talk to people, then start talking to people. Start by saying hello to random strangers where ever you go. The more action you take the more the fear will cease to be.

When you take action you’ll begin to grow and your comfort zone will begin be stretched. If you really want to grow, get outside your comfort zone and stay there.

Keep taking action. Whatever it is you want to achieve in life, it’s going to have to begin with you taking action. And if fear is the one thing holding you back, then the cure to that fear is ACTION.

Bonus Advice: Desire Follows Direction - You ever have one of those moments when you just don’t feel like doing it, but you know you need to do it? Well JUST DO IT ALREADY. Desire follows direction, act now – feelings later. If you ever did something that you didn’t feel like doing and then later on you usually felt better for doing it, you applied this principle. See your desire and feelings will follow the direction the ACTION you take.

Listen to me carefully. It does not matter what other people think of your idea. If you have something you want to do, some idea or some perspective, just do it. Share it with the world. Don’t worry about what others will think or say. You will be better off for having done it, then not.

I made a post about my perspective on Porn and I’m pretty sure that 90% of people don’t agree with me on it. So what? I had something I’ve been wanting to share for awhile and I did it. And I feel better for sharing it. Rather than just being quiet about it. It doesn’t matter if I failed to convince anyone to see my perspective. What matters is that I did it.

When I quit my job a lot of my family members said I was nuts. It was the end of the world. “Oh no what are you going to do now” they said. But it didn’t matter, I had a dream and I wanted to start my own business, I wanted to get free from the template lifestyle and to live life my way on my terms. So I just went out and did it.

That’s what you have to do. Even if it’s rude to others, ignore them and pursue it.

So my question stands. What are you holding back on in life?

I remember my first real outdoor rock climbing experience at the Delaware Water Gap. On that very first trip, it had rained earlier in the day and the rock face was still wet and even muddy in some places. This was a completely new experience and well outside my comfort zone. I am actually a bit scared of heights.

I started off pretty easy and began to get excited as I climbed. I must have climbed about 50 feet before I came to a section that seemed impassable. I was holding onto this one spot with everything I had. The rock was wet, and it felt like I could fail at any moment. I thought there was no physical way I could achieve the next move to continue climbing. It required me to lift my left leg up while extending out and then standing up on a ledge to my left that was at chest height. All I had to do was get my foot up on that hold, and then reach for the next hold above it. But to do this required letting go of the rock face. Right now, I was comfortable and safe., but this move would put me in a vulnerable position. If I didn’t do it right, I would miss and fall, which was still terrifying even though I was hooked into a rope and harness.

I struggled with this fear while holding onto the rock for what seemed like an eternity. I can’t do this, I thought.  Thoughts of fear and failure raced through my mind over and over. I even thought about just giving up. Look how far I already came today, I thought to myself, This is a good start. Then I started to think about my vision, and the promise I made to myself. I wanted to climb to the top,  to be able to say I had done this. I wanted to be able to say I was a climber, and I focused my mind on the end goal and got up the courage to do it.

With all those positive images running through my mind, I put my leg out and made the move, reaching for the next hold above me. It is hard to describe, but it was amazing. I did something that I was convinced was impossible for me to do. Something that had seemed so impossible, so outside of my comfort zone and difficult for me, what looked so far away and so dangerous, turned out to be a very easy move.

The danger was real. Yes, I could fall several feet, even hooked in and with a person on belay. Yet knowing all this, I was still afraid to fail, that I could still be injured. The fear in my mind was multiplying the risks in my reasoning. Only when I suppressed it, replaced it with my vision, and focused my attention on my goal that I got up the courage to step outside of my comfort zone.

That day, I did step outside of my comfort zone, and I grew a little. I became more confident in my abilities. Not just in rock climbing, (I am still a very new rock climber) but my confidence in myself was increased. I realized I had the ability to overcome.

Every one of us has so much potential inside of us. We just have to push ourselves outside of where we are comfortable.  When you get outside of your comfort zone, you will grow.

In the 2004 Olympics, a man named Matthew Emmons was on track for the Gold medal in the 50 meter three position rifle final. He was so far ahead in points that all he had to do was get his bullet anywhere inside the inner ring of the target and the gold medal was his.

As he aimed for his final shot, he prepared himself mentally, paused his breathing, took aim and then fired.

The bullet passed right through the bulls eye. However, there was no tone indicating a hit, leaving Emmons in puzzlement.

It took a moment, but Emmons realized he had hit the wrong target. He had dropped from first place and a gold medal to eighth place with no gold medal.

He took the right shot but had hit the wrong target.

Yet this is true with our own lives. Most of us aren’t even worried about what it is we are aiming at. We’re just trying to make it through the day. I’ve been there, going through the daily grind, just aiming for the weekend, hoping to have enough money to survive and maybe even a little extra to play.

In some cases I’ve aimed at the wrong targets. I’ve put all of my best efforts into things that have no  real value or real benefit to my life. I’ve aimed at the wrong girl, the wrong job, the wrong group of people, the wrong goal. In each case, I gave it my best effort.

I wanted to share the story about Matthew Emmons because it speaks volumes about what we aim our sights on in life. Are you sure you have the right target in sight? Or will you find that you took the best shot, only to hit the wrong target?

What are you aiming at?