Why in the heck would I talk about PORN on a website about lifestyle design and entrepreneurship you might ask. I’ll tell you why. It has to do with integrity, and you can’t have that when your pants are around your ankles while you are typing away with one hand. Not only that, if you are busy downloading and watching porn everyday, that is time you are losing from your entrepreneurial endeavors.
The simple truth is that we as men all struggle with porn at some point or another. For some, it is just a brief encounter, and for others, it is an overwhelming struggle. Let’s be honest here. Everyone knows where to find it, and most of us are smart enough to keep it hidden. Heck, we all know the real reason why there is InPrivate browsing now. It is so we can look at porn without getting caught. It is the social norm now. Porn viewing is considered “cool”. Soft porn is everywhere, especially in advertising, even more so if you live in Europe.
So whats the big deal then? Porn doesn’t hurt anyone. Porn is Cool, right?
WRONG!
Porn destroys lives.
Reality Check
Now listen to me carefully here. Porn is like beer. One drink won’t destroy your life, but consuming large amounts over and over again on a regular basis will lead to all kinds of problems. Alcoholism and liver damage, for example; but even one to many drinks before a stint behind the wheel can destroy your and others lives, forever.
Watching Porn doesn’t make you a man or make you cool. In fact, it makes you a pervert. YES A PERVERT. It is a cheap substitute for the real thing. I’m sure porn makes you feel like a man. After all, the woman is there on the screen, ready, waiting, and you always satisfy her. But the truth is it is still fake. You’ve still got your junk your hand.
Porn also devalues woman and how you see them. Let enough porn in, and it will destroy many, if not all, of your relationships. Think about it: you are a married man, and you masturbate to pictures of thin, 20 yr-old woman everyday. It is not long before you are comparing your wife to those images. Your wife will become unattractive to you because she isn’t the ideal fantasy you have been feeding into your brain. You begin to devalue the woman most important in your life. If you are single, you will start seeing all women as objects to satisfy your every desire, and you will be unable to develop meaningful relationships. Think about it, do you think your wife or girlfriend wants to compete with what’s on the internet?
Porn is a selfish addiction. It’s all about YOU getting YOURSELF off.
Bad For Business
Let’s think this one out. You’re a young entrepreneur. You want to build a successful lifestyle, but many entrepreneurs don’t give a second thought to their character or integrity. This is the reason why this country has such a problem with it’s leaders; most of our nation’s leaders are lacking character and integrity. For many, it is alright to have affairs, mistresses and to take deals behind closed doors. It’s private business they say. But let’s think this through, a man who thinks it is alright to take a vow to his wife, and then have an affair might think it’s ok to take money and bribes to vote a certain way. You’re private life does reflect how you will behave in public and how you will make decisions.
Today, being a player or a pimp is idolized. There is even a show about guys who call themselves pickup artists who use cheap tricks to sleep with as many woman as they can. The porn industry is a 6 billion dollar industry, and that industry teaches us it is a perfectly natural, human behavior.
I beg to differ. Viewing porn is secretly degrading your moral integrity. Remember when people use to tell you smoking was a gate-way drug? It doesn’t always lead to you doing LSD, and viewing porn won’t mean you’ll end up a child molester or serial rapist. But I will argue that it erodes something of your character every time you view it.
To be completely honest, I wish I could put together a better article on porn because I have strong feelings on the subject. Many men are seriously addicted to it. I’m not sure when I started looking at it, around age 15-16 I believe, and for a long time it was almost a daily thing. I had several girlfriends break up with me over my porn viewing. It wasn’t until I stopped being so utterly seflish and gave my life to Christ that this addiction stopped. From time to time, I will admit, I’ve had it crop back up. The temptation is always there, but you can get help.
I know people and I am sure you have heard of people, getting fired over viewing pornography at work. I believe it challenges your integrity as a man.
Oh, and to show you what PORN does to woman, view this video and visit the below sites.
Listen to Shelley Lubben Tell the Hard Core Truth of What Woman are subjected to as a Porn Actress. (NSFW)
Please visit and support Shelly. She saves girls from the porn industry and the abuse they suffer. She also posts true stories and video interviews of former porn stars who leave the industry.
http://www.shelleylubben.com/ & http://www.pinkcorss.com
Posted:
January 24, 2010 in: Thoughts On
Interesting post Michael, yes I believe anything addicting whether good in nature or bad can destroy people’s lives.
Got to completely disagree with you here.
Porn gives horny men who can’t get any a way to relieve themselves.
Porn gives guys in long distance relationships a way to clear their head when they haven’t gotten any from their girlfriend in a while.
Porn teaches young, inexperienced teens how to have sex
“Porn” doesn’t have anything to do with being a player or a pimp. Men have needs, and when men can’t get any and they’re sexually frustrated, many bad things can happen.
Addiction to anything is bad. I agree that an addiction to porn ruins lives. So does an addiction to alcohol, to sex, to shopping, or any other addiction.
Nice post to generate some “buzz”.
- Jun
Wasn’t really my intent to generate buzz, it’s just something I’ve been wanting to state my opinion about publicly for awhile.
When men are sexually frustrated and “can’t get any,” porn pours fuel over the fire. It’s an illusion to think porn puts it out. For a short instant it does, but it reinforces the brain circuitry that will later only produce more intense “frustration” and an appetite for more exotic kinds of porn. And has your heart become so numb, that you refuse to see the conditions under which porn actresses are treated? It’s vile, and it’s self-deception of the first rank to think it’s harmless.
Mike,
I’m not able to view the video from work, so I’ll have to watch it from home. Interesting topic, porn is viewed mostly harmless.
I was a bit anxious to view this at work, hehe.
Thanks for the comments guys, no one really seems to agree with me on this subject. And I’m personally considering taking down this article. Two things have changed my thought process on writing this week, which is why my writing is slowing down.
I’ve just read your article, i will pass it on. i agree with you. Thank you for showing me that there are decent men out there who recognises the long term effects of this popcorn culture which has become so accessible to all, so devoid of real love and compassion, so removed from God. Please stand firm with your convictions, i will in turn not compromise mine. From a lady full of grace.
Thanks for passing along the Shelley videos. She’s great. She wrote some guests posts for our blog about the porn industry. Very sad:
http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2008/10/28/ex-porn-star-tells-the-truth-about-the-porn-industry/
Hey, you devalue the right of porn artists to express themselves.
Maybe there is an industry that exploits people, but that could be said about other industries too. Maybe some consume things in unhealthy excess, but this could also be said about computer games and junk food.
However, there are also many people who are very passionate about expressing themselves and their sexuality. Sex and Passion is a part of human life, and like many aspects of life, there is a certain desires to share ones views, ideas and experiences via means of artistic expression, be it acting, in theaters and movies or stories.
Love, sex, passion, raw and animalistic desire, are all human traits, and they can be done responsible, positive and in consensual happiness.
Well in reply to that, while I do agree with artistic expression and because I am a constitutionalist I believe people have a right to view crap. I still think it’s crap.
However, there are some types of child porn and rape porn and other sick things that some people consider art, maybe we should allow those things too? I can agree with you on some of that, but you have to realize that there are very degrading and damaging areas of human desire. That’s why we have sex trafficking and everything else going on. And the porn industry tries to hide all the bad elements, they don’t want people thinking about the number of STD’s these people are getting or how many are addicted to drugs or who have been sexually abused.
It’s seems all of a sudden to be against porn is to be against “passion,” “desire,” “sex.” This is an extremely reductionist viewpoint.
The fundamental truth people are unwilling to accept is that sexuality, like any arena of human activity, has healthy variants and unhealthy variants. For some reason, people are very shy about addressing unhealthy variants of sexuality, preferring to see the whole spectrum as “natural.” For both porn “actors” trying to “express” themselves to spectators wanting to partake in some artistic “exchange of ideas” can you really say porn is a healthy expression of passion?
Healthy passion and desire are not to be found there, but only a corruption thereof. Porn corrodes mental, spiritual, and even physical health (in so much as it often leads to acting out under unsafe circumstances). Its bottom line is the use of people for pleasure. Shelley is fighting a very brave battle and history will prove those who take up her cause to be heros.
Mike, I don’t see this article an attack on my rights for artistic expression as a creative. It would appear to me that the point you are making here is there is another, less glamorous side, to porn… one that IS hurting people. Sex is a wonderful expression, one that I believe God gave us for a LOT more than procreation of the species. However, I know many people personally who have been ruined by their addiction to this “harmless” activity. I have seen it destroy careers, the lives of men and women, etc. I for one, feel that helping us realize that there are two sides to the coin is a healthy perspective and I commend you for having the guts to share the “other” side.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time!
Wow…I’m visiting from Twitter and saw the title of this blog…unexpected. Thank you for posting it because as wives we sometimes wonder how to keep our husbands happy, without trying to live up to the images…we can’t compete, even with the VS catalogue!
Thanks for this post, I too am visiting from Twitter and was surprised at the title, but thought it deserved a read. If you watch the entire video it’s difficult to not come away with a different perspective. There is certainly no glamor in her description of the porn industry.
You are so right man! Porn is a selfish addicition that will kill you little by little… you nailed it, thanks.
I couldn’t agree more with this post. Its so true, eventually it takes over your life if you let it. I’ve put my time to building a better business.
Great Article and great videos. People get up in arms about expression and free speech, but we’re not talking about a government takeover to make this illegal, rather showing the human cost associated with this practice. I think your points are well made, and even better – very true.
I have made a petition on behalf of the governments of the world to ban Pornography. Within a few days it should be uploaded on all of the petitions on line.
Nice article Mike. As a woman I think it would be nice if someone marketed cheap porn featuring very unattractive women. Something that wives would not be as threatened by. (Meant as a joke and as a honest idea!) Also, every couple should cut down on porn by installing a large mirror on the cieling over their bed. Good subdued lighting that provides all the visuals but gives cover for our blemishes, stretch marks, ect. would help as well. Porn is not going away – let’s get creative and diminish the need for it and the harm it can do.
Great post. I agree with you. Thanks for having the courage to post this.
Mike is totally right. In the old days, a man had to sneak into some seedy adult bookstore by a truckstop, hoping no one would see him, to get his porn. Too much effort and risk so most men wouldn’t bother.
Today it is everywhere on the interent, leading to instant addiction. Cocaine is a very addictive drug, but very hard to find, so most people don’t do it. Imagine if all you had to do was turn on the sink and cocaine came out?
Well, all you have to do is turn on the computer and endless porn comes out.
And it is addictive. One look is all it takes.
The best a man can do is “just say no” and don’t go there.
It is dangerous and will steal your life.
agree with u completely Mike. u wrote somewhere above that the amount of people who disagreed with u made u consider taking down the article – that was not good, one must have rigid trust in truth and right. those who say porn is harmless, have no idea about the ignorance they r steeped in. perhaps they will become more enlightened in time…my only concern is that by the time they realise porn for the evil that it really is, they would have lost a large part of their life’s potential, thanks in no less a part to porn and sexual indulgence. it will destroy ur relationships, it will keep u away from success. if u dont wish to believe a simple unknown man like me, read the chapter on sexual transmutation in Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill – the largest selling self help book ever.
wow this is an awesome message . this really went into my heart .. now i really understand how hard is for all the people in the adult industry . thanks god for show me this truth . i was blind but now i can see . thanks you Jesus .. God bless you Shelly
There is absolutely no doubt that porn destroys lives and minds. For those with an addictive personality, or who are trying to run away from some distress in their lives, porn is harder to quit than heroin.
Why? We have delivered a technology where is costs $0 to get a fix, and the quantities are unlimited. As the addict gets further down the path, more extreme forms of porn are needed to get the rush; finally nothing is off limits.
Lesson learned is that we have NO idea what technology will do when we release it to the world. In this case, many people will pay the price for the experiment.
For those who say; well it’s FREE WILL dude, no one is forcing you to look at it? Either you have never been addicted; or you have no ability to understand the significance of addiction.
Mike, I have to completely agree 100%. It is very addictive and evil. Yea, the circumstances or consequences that resulted from my frequent visits to these porn sites has damaged me physically and emotionally. Visiting these websites can be a gateway for other things. For instance, soft porn wears off pretty quickly and you need something more graphic. Once you get to the hardcore stuff, then you ask yourself, “where can I get just downright nasty?” The tolerance just like with drugs develops and it get out of hand.
But after years of doing this, I need “help” in that make love department and I hate it. My wife who is understanding now and patient does get angry when I can’t perform. Or even worse, she will ask me if I am still attracted to her or if I am gay?” Those kinds of comments hurt. I would definitely say I am recuperating spiritually and physically. I recently had an physical examination to make sure I am healthy and I passed with flying colors. So, is porn worth it? I would say not. I have been seeking solace in Christ but it has been difficult. I still wrestle with my demons and it won’t be easy to overcome them. Write the good fight.
Id be willing to bet you wrote and produced this passionate article in a moment and on an evening in which you felt it’s message had to be heard and could no longer lie unexposed. I’d also bet you believe God speaks to you and teaches you through your writing. Id also wager you came back to read this article a little down the road, much less filled with the emotion and passion that fueled your pen the night, and questioned yourself; “should I have posted this?”, “have I made a mistake?”. Well you didn’t and whether I’m right or not about all my wagers, I am a struggling Christian man thankful for having been exposed to this article. Everything you wrote was dead on. Don’t question it’s merit for one second. If We men ever overcome this battle, it’ll be because God led us to men that let God lead them. In this case, that is you.
I am hurting so much as I am writing this letter. In fact I have been hurting terribly for the past 10 years. My partner, that has been addicted to porn, used every single lie and excuse in the book as to why there was no sexual interest, except for the truth.
And when the truth was known, the lies continued, that he was not using porn anymore. I believed I loved this person and that things will come right. Well, apparently it has, but I have been so neatly conditioned to be the ultimate unattractive dog, that has been pushed away on more occasions then I care to remember, coupled with the humiliation of trying to be sexy for my partner for years, trying to wear sexy outfits etc etc etc, lying in my bed night after night with a desire for my partner, knowing that he is sexually numb from wanking over his sex goddesses. The betrayel was never ending. Afterall, I was so naive to think that one focusses your sexual energy on your relationship.
Now that things has “come right” I do not feel like a woman anymore, I am overweight, I have more inhibitions than a virgin, I have no interest in sex with him or anybody else anymore for that matter, and quite frankly …. I HATE HIM WITH ALL OF MY HEART. Now I am expected as a middle aged woman, with the tag: “DOG” around her neck, to lose her inhibitions with a man she was never good enough for.
I realized that I was an absolute dog in his eyes, when I heard for the first time that he appreciated how sexy I was in years, after we both met the most grotesque obese woman. So yes, I was being compred to his sex goddesses 24/7 and was obviously never good enough.
Thank you for writing this article.
I really appreciate hearing men talk about pornography this way. People always try to tell me that all guys do it and it is foolish to ask a lover to not view porn. I know there are people out there who recognize the power it can have over people and resist it and work towards maintaining healthy human relationships. That makes me happy. I don’t want my sexuality to lie uncultivated due to the availability of an unending cascade of sexual images. I think that although porn is a multi-billion dollar industry, so much porn can be free because of the problems it creats in real life: Self-esteem issues and depersonalization. I think that the costs generated by those issues alone create a market in which the porn itself can be “free”. Everyone has to pay for something somehow. If you have the opportunity, make sex with someone you love special. Don’t rewire your brain to the novelty of porn and deny yourself the utter excitement of lying with someone you love whose body is for you.
Thank you for writing this. You are not the only person who feels this way. A lot of my female friends (mid-late 20s) feel this way but have a hard time articulating it the way you did. It is also an unpopular opinion and many are discouraged that they can’t openly express these views because they are labeled a prude or unrealistic. I’m not a prude at all – I love the physical and emotional enjoyment of sex – but I find porn incredibly offensive. Nothing about it is realistic. The female enjoyment in porn is completely fake. The techniques men use in these videos to please the women are ridiculous, and men everywhere are being conditioned to believe that is how to be a good lover. I do agree that porn desensitizes frequent viewers and gives them a confused and skewed understanding of real sexuality. All in all, it is just completely damaging. We would all be better off if there was no internet/on-demand porn at all. Men would be forced to focus their sexual energy where it should be – on the real women in their lives. Thank you very much for writing this. You are spot on.
Right on Dude. Your words are very encouraging for someone that is trying to get away from porn. Letting people know that the time they spend with porn or any addiction is damaging. I like how you point out how people can do much more constructive things. I have a side business that I always wanted to go full time. And now I realize that the time I spent with porn or cruising for woman, I could have probably got the business off the ground. I am not where I want to be, but I am not where I used to be. I like your blog too.
Thank You