It is a wonderful thing to dream, but it’s an even better thing to act upon those dreams. Throughout my life I’ve dreamed of a certain lifestyle, certain freedoms and the chance to do the extraordinary, but it wasn’t until after college that I realized dreams were just realities waited to be acted upon. This realization changed my life, up until about 21 I’d always assumed that you could dream but life happened to you regardless. This couldn’t be further from the truth and as I ‘wake up’ more and more from the fog of ‘the real world’ I see that your life can be as big as you dream it but your dreams can only be as big as you are willing to act upon.

This is actually reason for celebration, it means you don’t have to wake up everyday and think ‘what will life hand me today’ instead you can literally happen to life, all it takes are baby steps. The way I act upon my dreams is three fold, I’ll explain my ‘action plan’ below:

1. Quantify the dream. Don’t say ‘I want to be rich and happy’ you must find ways to measure how rich and what ‘happiness’ looks like. So when you have a dream immediately put it onto paper and force yourself to quantify it. Now ‘I want to be rich and happy’ turns into ‘I want to have $100,000 in the bank in 2 years and I want to have met and married my dream girl’.
2. Map out the dream. So now that you know what ‘rich’ and ‘happy’ look like you can start to draw a plan (the more detailed the better) to get there. If you are driving somewhere you’ve never been you’d be a fool to not have a map (or mapquest) so why in life if you are heading towards a goal you’ve never achieved before would you leave the specifics to chance? It’s foolish, and more important it’s laziness masking itself with titles like ‘carefree’. So now assess your life as it stands, say you are working a job that pays $12 an hour part time, you aren’t going to get to your monetary goal this way so it’s time to change course. Develop an action plan based on what you like to do and what could possibly bring in extra income, then follow that plan to the T. What helps me is reading success stories, it not only inspires you but helps get your creative juices flowing about the hows of your specific goal. Secondly you want to meet and marry your dream girl, well if your single right now – or not with your dream girl – you’ll have to change course fast. Start meeting new people, go to a match maker, check out a dating site, ask your friends to set you up and actively search out the girl of your dreams vs. waiting on ‘chance’.
3. Live the dream. Now as you act every day on these goals it is time to live ‘as if’, this means reminding yourself all the time of what your life will look like in 2 years and why you are going for those goals. It means not worry about finances or finding the right girl anymore because you know deep down in 2 years time you’ll be there. Thinking as if is a vital part of reaching your goals but must be paired with quantification and mapping out your dream… if it isn’t you aren’t ‘living as if’ your delusional

Now it’s time for you to act, comment below on at least one of your dreams and quantify it. In a month or so come back and reply with any progress you’ve made, this social pressure alone will help you push yourself out of your comfort zone and into the land of the living. It is time to seize your dreams, it’s time to stop moping and stop making excuses – nothing is impossible when you pair an ardent dream with incredible action.

Most people who try something and then experince failure just give up and quit. That’s the wrong approach. After you experince a failure you need to simply readjust what you are doing and try it again. If you fail again, ADJUST WHAT YOU ARE DOING AGAIN. Keep doing this until you succeed.

I’ve failed in business a couple of times. Most recently I tried to start an IT company with a friend. I very quickly learned that two heads is a monster, especially when you both have different ideas about the direction the company should go. The whole thing turned out to be a big waste of nearly 3 months. Complete failure.

Did I give up and go looking for a job? NO! I adjusted my plan for business, this time, minus the business partner. New name, new plan, new strategy, and now I’m 3 months into a successful web development company.

The simple point here is if you fail, get up and brush the dust off your feet. Take a look at what you did wrong, learn from it. Adjust your plan and try again. If you fail, adjust and try again until you end up with this formula Try = Success!

This is a wrong way of thinking; one that needs to change. If you want something, you’re going to have to go out and make it happen.

I’m learning this first hand. For years I talked about business and being successful. In reality I was waiting for success to land in my lap. I was hoping it would be handed to me with the least effort possible, and in turn my first couple of businesses were mediocre. I applied the least amount of effort to everything I did.

And then one day a light bulb went off.

I’ve found a lot of success already, because I’m pouring blood, sweat and tears into making it happen. I’m getting out there and hitting the pavement, shaking hands, staying up late working on projects, making phone calls, doing follow ups, going to networking events, building my following on twitter, keeping up with it on facebook, etc. I’m putting in the work, not just sitting back and hoping it will come to me. I stay up late and fry my eyes with two 24inch computer screens, doing favors, hoping for some return. I’m taking a huge risk on all of this right now. But with risk, comes great rewards. If this thing is going to happen, I’m going to make it happen.

Now, here’s the deal. We all know this principle. So why are so many of you waiting around for success to land in your lap? Equally, why are so many of you thinking that you should be handed that next big promotion without doing any work?

If you want something, you’re going to have to pursue it. You’re going to have to bleed out of your eyeballs to make it happen. You’re going to have to be relentless in some cases. You’re friends will probably think you are crazy. Forget them. Your friends are probably losers anyways. Stop dreaming pie in the sky and start making the pie. (Does that even make sense?) You’ll probably have to get outside your comfort zone for starters.

My wife wants to buy a Hummer. A freaking Hummer in this economy! And guess what, she’s going to drive a freaking Hummer because WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Only one way that is going to happen. Not by me sitting around hoping to get lucky, but by me getting out there and MAKING IT HAPPEN.

Stop waiting for lady luck, get up off your ass and MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Word of the wise, there are NO SHORT CUTS to SUCCESS. So avoid the MLM’s.

Fear is the one thing stopping you from taking action. And guess what. Not taking action is what is stopping you from having everything you want.

If you want to succeed at anything chances are you’re going to have to get outside of your comfort zone and face some fears, take some risks and take some ACTION.

How do you face that fear?

With ACTION!

Stop thinking and trying to rationalize your fears and learn to take immediate action. If you’re afraid to talk to people, then start talking to people. Start by saying hello to random strangers where ever you go. The more action you take the more the fear will cease to be.

When you take action you’ll begin to grow and your comfort zone will begin be stretched. If you really want to grow, get outside your comfort zone and stay there.

Keep taking action. Whatever it is you want to achieve in life, it’s going to have to begin with you taking action. And if fear is the one thing holding you back, then the cure to that fear is ACTION.

Bonus Advice: Desire Follows Direction - You ever have one of those moments when you just don’t feel like doing it, but you know you need to do it? Well JUST DO IT ALREADY. Desire follows direction, act now – feelings later. If you ever did something that you didn’t feel like doing and then later on you usually felt better for doing it, you applied this principle. See your desire and feelings will follow the direction the ACTION you take.

Listen to me carefully. It does not matter what other people think of your idea. If you have something you want to do, some idea or some perspective, just do it. Share it with the world. Don’t worry about what others will think or say. You will be better off for having done it, then not.

I made a post about my perspective on Porn and I’m pretty sure that 90% of people don’t agree with me on it. So what? I had something I’ve been wanting to share for awhile and I did it. And I feel better for sharing it. Rather than just being quiet about it. It doesn’t matter if I failed to convince anyone to see my perspective. What matters is that I did it.

When I quit my job a lot of my family members said I was nuts. It was the end of the world. “Oh no what are you going to do now” they said. But it didn’t matter, I had a dream and I wanted to start my own business, I wanted to get free from the template lifestyle and to live life my way on my terms. So I just went out and did it.

That’s what you have to do. Even if it’s rude to others, ignore them and pursue it.

So my question stands. What are you holding back on in life?

The simple truth is that we as men all struggle with porn at some point or another. For some, it is just a brief encounter, and for others, it is an overwhelming struggle. Let’s be honest here. Everyone knows where to find it, and most of us are smart enough to keep it hidden. Heck, we all know the real reason why there is InPrivate browsing now. It is so we can look at porn without getting caught. It is the social norm now. Porn viewing is considered “cool”. Soft porn is everywhere, especially in advertising, even more so if you live in Europe.

So whats the big deal then? Porn doesn’t hurt anyone. Porn is Cool, right?

WRONG!

Porn destroys lives.

Reality Check

Now listen to me carefully here. Porn is like beer. One drink won’t destroy your life, but consuming large amounts over and over again on a regular basis will lead to all kinds of problems. Alcoholism and liver damage, for example; but even one to many drinks before a stint behind the wheel can destroy your and others lives, forever.

Watching Porn doesn’t make you a man or make you cool. In fact, it makes you a pervert. YES A PERVERT. It is a cheap substitute for the real thing. I’m sure porn makes you feel like a man. After all, the woman is there on the screen, ready, waiting, and you always satisfy her. But the truth is it is still fake. You’ve still got your junk your hand.

Porn also devalues woman and how you see them.  Let enough porn in, and it will destroy many, if not all, of your relationships. Think about it: you are a married man, and you masturbate to pictures of thin, 20 yr-old woman everyday. It is not long before you are comparing your wife to those images. Your wife will become unattractive to you because she isn’t the ideal fantasy you have been feeding into your brain. You begin to devalue the woman most important in your life. If you are single, you will start seeing all women as objects to satisfy your every desire, and you will be unable to develop meaningful relationships. Think about it, do you think your wife or girlfriend wants to compete with what’s on the internet?

Porn is a selfish addiction. It’s all about YOU getting YOURSELF off.

Bad For Business

Let’s think this one out. You’re a young entrepreneur. You want to build a successful lifestyle, but many entrepreneurs don’t give a second thought to their character or integrity. This is the reason why this country has such a problem with it’s leaders; most of our nation’s leaders are lacking character and integrity. For many, it is alright to have affairs, mistresses and to take deals behind closed doors. It’s private business they say. But let’s think this through, a man who thinks it is alright to take a vow to his wife, and then have an affair might think it’s ok to take money and bribes to vote a certain way. You’re private life does reflect how you will behave in public and how you will make decisions.

Today, being a player or a pimp is idolized. There is even a show about guys who call themselves pickup artists who use cheap tricks to sleep with as many woman as they can. The porn industry is a 6 billion dollar industry, and that industry teaches us it is a perfectly natural, human behavior.

I beg to differ. Viewing porn is secretly degrading your moral integrity. Remember when people use to tell you smoking was a gate-way drug? It doesn’t always lead to you doing LSD, and viewing porn won’t mean you’ll end up a child molester or serial rapist. But I will argue that it erodes something of your character every time you view it.

To be completely honest, I wish I could put together a better article on porn because I have strong feelings on the subject. Many men are seriously addicted to it. I’m not sure when I started looking at it, around age 15-16 I believe, and for a long time it was almost a daily thing. I had several girlfriends break up with me over my porn viewing. It wasn’t until I stopped being so utterly seflish and gave my life to Christ that this addiction stopped. From time to time, I will admit, I’ve had it crop back up.  The temptation is always there, but you can get help.

I know people and I am sure you have heard of people, getting fired over viewing pornography at work. I believe it challenges your integrity as a man.

Oh, and to show you what PORN does to woman, view this video and visit the below sites.

Listen to Shelley Lubben Tell the Hard Core Truth of What Woman are subjected to as a Porn Actress. (NSFW)

Please visit and support Shelly. She saves girls from the porn industry and the abuse they suffer. She also posts true stories and video interviews of former porn stars who leave the industry.

http://www.shelleylubben.com/ & http://www.pinkcorss.com

I remember my first real outdoor rock climbing experience at the Delaware Water Gap. On that very first trip, it had rained earlier in the day and the rock face was still wet and even muddy in some places. This was a completely new experience and well outside my comfort zone. I am actually a bit scared of heights.

I started off pretty easy and began to get excited as I climbed. I must have climbed about 50 feet before I came to a section that seemed impassable. I was holding onto this one spot with everything I had. The rock was wet, and it felt like I could fail at any moment. I thought there was no physical way I could achieve the next move to continue climbing. It required me to lift my left leg up while extending out and then standing up on a ledge to my left that was at chest height. All I had to do was get my foot up on that hold, and then reach for the next hold above it. But to do this required letting go of the rock face. Right now, I was comfortable and safe., but this move would put me in a vulnerable position. If I didn’t do it right, I would miss and fall, which was still terrifying even though I was hooked into a rope and harness.

I struggled with this fear while holding onto the rock for what seemed like an eternity. I can’t do this, I thought.  Thoughts of fear and failure raced through my mind over and over. I even thought about just giving up. Look how far I already came today, I thought to myself, This is a good start. Then I started to think about my vision, and the promise I made to myself. I wanted to climb to the top,  to be able to say I had done this. I wanted to be able to say I was a climber, and I focused my mind on the end goal and got up the courage to do it.

With all those positive images running through my mind, I put my leg out and made the move, reaching for the next hold above me. It is hard to describe, but it was amazing. I did something that I was convinced was impossible for me to do. Something that had seemed so impossible, so outside of my comfort zone and difficult for me, what looked so far away and so dangerous, turned out to be a very easy move.

The danger was real. Yes, I could fall several feet, even hooked in and with a person on belay. Yet knowing all this, I was still afraid to fail, that I could still be injured. The fear in my mind was multiplying the risks in my reasoning. Only when I suppressed it, replaced it with my vision, and focused my attention on my goal that I got up the courage to step outside of my comfort zone.

That day, I did step outside of my comfort zone, and I grew a little. I became more confident in my abilities. Not just in rock climbing, (I am still a very new rock climber) but my confidence in myself was increased. I realized I had the ability to overcome.

Every one of us has so much potential inside of us. We just have to push ourselves outside of where we are comfortable.  When you get outside of your comfort zone, you will grow.